Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Old Candy Critic Articles - Some Of My Favorite Candy Toys

As I mentioned before, I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week I'm posting an article I wrote all about some of my candy themed merchandise that I had collected, many of these items I still have:
Throughout the years I've started a collection that I never really wanted. Every time I meet up with candy people or visit candy stores, people hand me cool little trinkets that are candy related. To be honest I rarely actually buy them myself, but for some reason I have a pretty big collection of these toys.

Rather than just let them sit on my basement shelf collecting dust, I figured I'd should show them off, some of them are pretty cool, some are down right terrifying.

Pre Chewed Gum Punk

This is one of the few candy related toys that I bought myself. I was curious about what pre chewed bubble gum was, and this little plastic head was a bonus... I guess. I tried the gum and it was basically just hard candy that turned into gum. The head's kind of cool though, I seem to remember there being several choices but I like to rock out like the next guy, so the punk was the way for me to go.

What else could I use if for?Maybe he could hold change in his head and I would have the most bad ass change purse in the whole world.

Nerd Lollypop

I have a love hate relationship with this particular toy. I love it because I'm truly convinced that it's based off me. It's a candy toy of a computer nerd with black thick-rimed glasses (when the site started that's what I sported) and an awkward brown hair cut (I still sport that). I hate this toy because it looks so much like me and it makes me feel bad about myself. It also implies that if you flip a switch on my back my head will open up and a lollypop will pop out. I assure you that the last part is probably not true, I say probably because I've never actually tried it.

It's a fun little toy that right now is staring at me and giving me the creeps, I think I'll put it away now.

Green M&M candy mini dispenser.

When they introduced the Green M&Ms girl to the M&Ms family I thought it was great, finally a little female representation in the candy world. Then I realised that she was made sexy to represent the urban legend about what green M&M's do to men, again I wasn't complaining. What I do have against this candy dispenser is this, it doesn’t really hold that many M&Ms. Sure it looks sexy and tells the world that women are just as good at selling candy to the world as men, but I can only fit about 8 M&Ms into this toy, and 8 M&Ms is not enough to satisfy me.

Egg laying chicken

It’s natural, an animal willing to not only give birth but also share it’s life blood with millions to ensure our good health. It brings a tear to my eye. Now, take this wonder of life, make it out of plastic and windy bits, and rather than life coming from inside make it egg shaped gum. That about sums it up. Did I mention that it lade while it walked?

I can never really get the handle on the whole normal food and candy relationship. Yes I know candy if food, but really, why do they insist on making candy that looks like other foods? It can be gross, but I guess this is intriguing enough to make me want to eat it. Maybe it’s not the candy companies that should be checked out but the weirdos, like me, that keep eating these strange combinations.

Pez Dispensers

I have a pretty big collection of Pez dispensers, well it's not that big, but it's large enough. Although I love my various Sponge Bob Pez dispensers, I've decided to show you one that's pretty close to my heart.

This little truck is an original 1980's truck Pez dispenser. I know this because I bought it in the 80s and I loved it to death. It was, to me as a kid, the greatest idea ever. I toy truck that held my candy. Today I'm not really sure what makes Pez dispensers that appealing to collect, or why I get joy from spending a long time trying to fill them up, only to make the tasty candy inside slightly harder to get at.

Bubble Roll Message Maker

This toy takes two of my favourite childhood time wasters and throws them all together. When I was a kid I loved those label makers that would click out labels and I'd stick them everywhere. As a kid, I also liked chewing gum. This little toy let's me make the labels on gum so I can eat it when I'm done. It also makes sure that if I decide not to eat a piece of gum immediately, I can print my name on it and leave it around knowing that every person that comes by with the intent to eat it will think twice seeing my name on it.

CC

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