Old Candy Critic Articles - Liquefied

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week I'm posting an article I wrote about chocolate bar themed milk drinks.

Have you been to the dairy case lately? There are all of milk drinks that have somehow mixed up with chocolate bars to make some kind of milky treat. I could get into my theory as to how this is done, but to be honest, it’s a little graphic. I have to admit, I'm glad that it was milk drinks that went this direction. Knowing some “creative” candy minds in the world, I have seen chocolate bar themed colas. I probably shouldn’t have said that, because now I’m sure someone will read this and do it.

The problem I have with these treats is that many of the finer qualities of chocolate bars really can’t be re-created in liquid form. This seems like a good time to try a little one-on-one competition. Let’s see how one of these drinks can hold up against the real thing. As I write this I’m both thirsty and a little hungry, so the playing field is even.

I decided to pick a snack that I like but I’m not totally enamoured with. I figure that’s fair, because if I really liked it I’d probably just be mad that they changed it at all. I went with Neilson's Crispy Crunch bar. If you’ve never seen or tasted a Crispy Crunch, then you'd best read the review first. That, or try a Butterfinger. It’s close, but not as good.

I'll start with the Crispy Crunch bar. I figure that’s fair because the milk is based off the crunchy treat and not the other way around. As I said in my review, the Crispy Crunch is like a Butterfinger, only a little peanutier and less brittle. It has a great texture; so good that naming the bar after its texture is well deserved.

Since I know the milk won’t have the texture, I guess I should focus on the flavour of the bar. Basically, it has a chocolate-peanut flavour with just a hint of toffee. The toffee flavour, although slight, is really like burnt toffee. The treat is so well-balanced that you are not overwhelmed by what could be a really strong toffee flavour. It’s a bar that’s been around, and there’s no doubt as to why.

Now on to the milk. I should mention that I did follow all of the directions on the bottle. I shook well, and it is cold. The bar, on the other hand, was in one piece and just warm enough that I had to lick a bit of the chocolate off my fingers.

(Added tip: If you want to know when your milk drink is, shaken well, keep shaking it until it doesn’t slosh around anymore.)

The drink is a bit chocolatier than the bar. I know it would be impossible to simulate, but I really miss the texture. The taste is a little peanut-like with a bit of toffee, but it’s really hard to make out. It tastes different than regular chocolate milk, maybe even better, but I really find it a stretch to say it tastes like a Crispy Crunch bar.

CC